Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Mystery of the Captain America Fruit Snacks

Not surprisingly, it took a big budget movie to finally launch Captain America's fruit snack career. Say what you will about Batman, but he's at a point where he can launch a new line of fruit snacks at the drop of a hat. Movie, schmovie.

But Cap is a little newer to the grocery aisles and I say it's about time. His very first foray into the world of dextrose gum and high fructose corn syrup looks a little like this:

Eye-catching packaging and the allure of four different fruit flavors made this thing practically jump off the shelf and into my shopping cart. But the more I delved into the world of Captain America Fruit Snacks, the more I realized this is more than a superfluous grocery item. It's a Da Vinci Code-esque box of clues, riddles and misdirects, most noticeably symbolized by the the maze etched onto Cap's iconic shield. Seems easy enough...or is it?

Well ok, it is fairly easy, as most "back of the box" mazes are, but look towards the bottom:

"Can you help find the missing items?" it says. That's a lot of different stylized A's. Why so many? One assumes that you are supposed to find them there on the back (it's not like they're hidden very can see that shield with wings right there). And the answer key on the inside of the box indicates that as well.

But I'm not content to just accept easy answers. I want long, drawn out, insanely convoluted answers! That's what years of reading comics will do to you.

So I keep going back to the multiple A's. Since when do marketers want multiple logos?!? Since never! So I choose to believe that this is a clue! Not about Captain America: The First Avenger but about next summer's The Avengers!

As always, look to the candy for answers:

Check out who makes a pretty hefty appearance in these co-called "Captain America" Fruit Snacks:

Wha?!? That's Thor! And his hammer! And a lightning bolt which I assume pertains to Thor (god of thunder and all that...). Fifty percent of the gummies are about Thor. Yet he doesn't get double billing on the box. That means something! Something's going on here! But what? Trouble in Avengers Mansion?

I was so worked up by this I ate the entire box. This did not lead to any insights but rather a slightly bloated, nauseous feeling...which I assume also means something. I think it means I need to go lie down.

But I'll be back...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lol, this is kinda hilarious. Actually, your entire blog is hilarious. And interesting.