Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Air Force

The superhero food scene has been a lonely one lately. This past summer I was naively hoping for some "Watchmen Waffles" but it just wasn't in the cards. I've mentioned in the past that fruit snacks typically hold the top spot when it comes the frequency of its superhero tie-ins, but coming in at a close second are Airheads.

I've never eaten Airheads and I've never watched "Batman: The Brave and the Bold," so obviously I'm the perfect person to opine on the various virtues of Batman Airheads. We'll start with the positives: Much like the format of the TV show, the candy incorporates various lesser known characters from DC Comics.

On the negative side: Like many reasonable adults who feel the need to write about superhero candy, I maintain high standards and semi-reasonable expectations when it comes to the bottom line. If they promote six different characters and sell a six pack of candy then the optimist in me hopes to get all six with the first purchase. Alas, the candy gods were not smiling that fateful day at 7-Eleven.

Blue Beetle, Green Arrow, Batman and Red Tornado (with duplicates of Blue & Red), not a bad collection of characters but the absence of Aquaman and Plastic Man leaves a hole in my soul that no amount of high fructose corn syrup could ever fill.

In an attempt to make nice for my incomplete set, the Airheads website has been completely Batman-ized and I spent the better part of the day coloring pictures of Plastic Man...

...and Bizarro Plastic Man...

That calmed me down. And since you were dying to know, according to the site's superhero quiz, I'm Batman. I'm the %$!@*# Batman!

So if you've been wondering why the documentary isn't finished yet I think it is clear now that I have some serious time management issues.

You too can experience the thrill of incorrectly coloring Plastic Man:


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