Pie in the Face

A lot of attention has been given to the old school superhero Hostess Fruit Pie advertisements, but let's not forget that even Archie Comics got into the act. Here's an ad from 1976 that put that stuck up Alexandra in her place:

Easter Egg Basket #1 - Going Green

It looks like those little blue tyrants that run the Green Lantern Corps have been expanding their reach into the Marvel Universe. Check out these screen caps from episode #8, "Some Assembly Required" of the series "Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes."





I guess the Guardians are attempting to destroy the Marvel economy by flooding it with their own custom funny money. Diabolical!

Claws and Effect

This is a little frustrating.

While leaving a certain local toy store, I glanced at the claw game on the way out (as I typically do) and was stopped dead in my tracks. I know I'm not usually always prone to exaggeration but it was in this particular claw game where I saw what may be the single greatest Captain America collectible of all time: The Captain America Fuzzy Dice!!!

I had other places to be but it was then and there that I vowed to return the next day and acquire was was rightfully mine.

However, the next day, instead of being greeted by my precious, it was the cold bucket of water that is reality that waited for me. The claw game and been restocked (with crap) and my prize was gone!?!

Or was it? After breathing into a paper bag a solid forty minutes I took another look around the plush ghetto and discovered that the Cap Dice were still there...just moved to a more difficult location.

Now I've mentioned my affinity for various claw/crane games before but what I have not mentioned is that I know the only strategy to win. You see, during college I worked at a laundromat where I spent the better part of each day watching customers play and lose the claw game. There is a trick to it.

In most claw games the claw will lower, then raise and THEN grasp! So usually the only items that can be won are the ones at the very top of the pile.

On the previous day the dice were at the very top but now they were significantly lower. Undeniable proof of the existence of Satan? I think so.

Long story short: I had a finite amount of quarters/patience/interest and did not end up winning the greatest Captain America collectible of all time (This claw game, like many, seem to be rigged for maximum frustration).

Here are the video highlights (including a desperate grasp for a consolation prize):

Oh, I'll return to that toy store...and I'll continue to obsess over this nonsense...don't you worry about that. There will come a day when the Captain America Novelty Dice will fill that gaping hole in my life for probably a good 15 minutes. Afterward I guess I'll toss 'em. (Get it?)

Finger Food

[Insert blog-starting "Play with your food" joke here]

So, yeah, Marvel Gummy Candy Finger Puppets...my jaw hit the floor at the Dollar Store the other day when I stumbled across these little beauties.

Looks like a pretty straightforward premise:

1. Insert fingers in puppets
2. Perform your favorite Tennessee Williams play starring edible finger puppet versions of your favorite Marvel Heroes
3. Eat the puppets off your fingers one by one as you pretend to be Galactus (Warning: It's not recommended that you consume any part of your actual hand.)

Let's do the roll call:

The Marvel box has the usual "movie gang": Spider-Man, Iron Man, Wolverine and the Hulk. Yep, it's the Marvel Universe's cool kids table. No surprises here.

Although I will compliment them on the sculpts. Sure it's not action figure quality but "gummy" is a difficult medium and these guys look pretty good.

And, of course, not content to just be a part of the "Marvel Heroes" lineup, you-know-who gets his own box. And you might notice his box has the same "Spider Sense Spider-Man" label as those boring Spider-Man Strawberry Licorice Webs from awhile back.

Poses are also a little questionable. The two middle fingers have standard Spidey stances but the one on the index finger looks like he's just standing there and the one on my pinky looks like he's stretching after a good night's sleep. But Spider-Man's an elder statesman in the candy world so he can get away with stuff like that.

But you'd never see Captain America trying to pull that crap.

UPDATE: Check it out: They're on a cake!

The Greatest Day of My Life!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morning in America

Another summer blockbuster, another promotional tie-in. The best kind of tie-ins involve promotional food of some sort and so the Dunkin' Donuts Captain America Coolatta doesn't disappoint.


It looks like Dunkin' Donuts is trying to one up 7-Eleven when it comes to super hero collectible cups because they work thrice (it's a word) as hard and incorporate three different flavors into their Captain America tri-sectioned cup (which is what I'm guessing it's called).

Three flavors, "red," white" and "blue" come with the collectible cup which keeps them separated until you ultimately excrete them! Yum!


They also get extra points for not only offering a Captain America donut with red, white and blue sprinkles but also going to the extra effort of making it in the shape of a star...kind of. So it's kind of reminiscent of the Hulk dount from a few years ago but with a little extra effort thrown in.


But the roughness of the shape is more than made up for with the jelly filling...red like the Red Skull...I guess.

This coincides with the Captain America Super Swirl Flavor and and special Cap & HYDRA Sundaes at Baskin Robbins (and I guess the movie too) but when I went to get some the girl there said she didn't know how to make them. So screw them! They'll have to do without the added publicity of the four people who read this blog (hi, mom)!

And just in case you haven't seen it, here's the super-cool, extended cut of the Captain America Dunkin' Donuts commercial:

Sweeping Changes

As a bit of a postscript to the "Geo-RoadTrip 2011," from one of my other blogs, we present one last parting gift from the road.


The giant Chimney Sweep Statue greets people on I-135 between Wichita and McPherson, Kansas. He's a striking site that comes out of nowhere while you're in the middle of nowhere. His roguish smile and Dick Van Dyke-esque demeanor conveys a sense of old school chimney sweepery that is sadly missing in our modern world of dirty smoke stacks.

However, as many people do, he started out in a different industry before his career change:


Happy Chef is/was a chain of restaurants in the Midwest that each had Happy Chef statues out front greeting hungry travelers with a smile and a spoon. They also had a button you could push to hear the Happy Chef give you, what I assume was, a happy message.

Sadly most chefs are gone but some have been re-purposed like our friend here. If you're one the road in the middle of Kansas, stop by and say "hi."