Got Time For a Quik Story?

 Previously:

About a Boy  - -  Bad Breath  - -  Fish Story  - -  Flash Fried  - -  Next Fry Day

 Some team-ups are inevitable.   They just seem like a perfectly natural pairing that the universe itself could not slow down the natural synergy between a like minded pair.  But some team-ups...are a little more head scratchingly arbitrary.  They may not seem like a natural fit and yet great things are accomplished.  This brings us to the 1987 comic book "Superman Meets the Quik Bunny"!

The story begins with a quick tease of Superman running afoul of a member of the Flash's rogue's gallery.  The Weather Wizard is using his magic weather wand to make things go straight up bonkers in Metropolis.

Meanwhile, we get a "quik" introduction to the members of the "Quik Qlub" as they finish building their tree house while the Quik Bunny supervises.

Of course they celebrate with a round of chocolate milks and in the process we get a good look inside the tree house they built.  It seems to have a surprising amount of sophisticated computer equipment.  But before we can wonder how or why, we get a quik expedited introduction of each of the Qlub members and their specialties:

Seems like some or all of this information might become relevant at some point.  You may notice in the back of that panel that Superman is on the news on their high tech homemade tree house entertainment system.

Well, the gang sees the trouble going on in Metropolis and decided that four kids and a chocolate craving rabbit were exactly what the situation needed.  So they unleashed the first of many of the secrets they built into their tree house:

Yes, the tree house these kids just built is also a helicopter.  It's almost enough to make you forget about the talking bunny...and possibly Superman.  But the Man of Steel, the Quik Bunny and the Quik Qlub kids finally all converge in Metropolis in time for the kids to assume they saved Superman and for Superman to tell them that they didn't.

One of the aspects of the comic is puzzles and brain teasers that pop up every couple of pages.  They're a part of the story and are meant for the reader as well as the Qlub kids to solve.  The answers are typically the location for where the Weather Wizard has gone.  That's why one of the kids is so cocky to Supes in the last panel.

Each puzzle plays into one of the aforementioned strengths/interests of the club members so even if the reader isn't able (or willing) to decipher the clues, the Chocolate Milk Brigade will take care of it.  And that's how they found out the Weather Wizard next target was...

This comic is surprisingly long with multiple altercations in multiple locations.  To save time let's just say they face both puzzles and the Weather Wizard in Washington D.C. and at the pyramids of Egypt before having a final confrontation at the Great Wall of China.  (Also the Qlub House turned into a blimp and boat and all kinds of other stuff.)

In addition to being able to change into various vehicles and containing state of the art computer equipment, the Quik Qlub tree house also has the ability to manufacture a facsimile of the Quik Bunny to use as a decoy to trick weather controlling villains.

And it's just that easy.  After the clean up and dropping off the Weather Wizard at the local loony bin, the only thing left to do is enjoy some of that sweet, sweet Nestle Quik flavored chocolate milk.

 

About a Boy

Previously:

Bad Breath  - -  Fish Story  - -  Flash Fried  - -  Next Fry Day

We all know that portly young lad who hoists a hamburger to the heavens as he beckons travelers to stop and enjoy some comfort food.   Don't ask me why, but Big Boy restaurants (which have various names in various parts of the country) always seem like the place where people eat when they're on vacation or away from home. And that makes a road trip the perfect story for a Big Boy comic:

As you can probably imagine, this 16 page comic packed with coloring pages, puzzles and a kid's menu doesn't have a strong plot.  The story involves Big Boy and his friends Katie and Tripp heading out to camp at an unnamed National Park.  They head there in what I'm calling the "Big Boymobile," which I think is a huge missed merchandising opportunity.  Here's a couple of looks at BB's sweet ride:

Why weren't we all playing with toy Big Boymobiles as kids?  If they ever made any of these things, I never saw them.  So when the gang gets to the park, Big Boy essentially lectures the other two about how great National Parks are and then (I assume the next day) they put out their campfire.  And of course, for Big Boy's more fervent fans, we get this beefcake tease:

That's it.  That's the story.  It may not seem like much to you but I think it's the perfect "keep the kids busy" length for a family restaurant.  And if you were a kid at Big Boy's in 1981 who was perusing this comic issue, what would you be eating?  Well, these were your options:

Looks pretty good to me.  But before we pay the check and pile back into the car, there's one more thing that's worth noting.  In this issue, Big Boy pays a somewhat arbitrary yet seemingly long overdue homage to...sticks:

Yep, sticks are awesome.  You can't deny that.  They can do anything from scratching an itch to holding a venous snake at bay.  Let's hear it for sticks!

So with that, it's back on the road to the next roadside attraction, National Park or restaurant that's just not in your hometown.  Keep an eye open for Big Boy, he'll be holding up that hamburger for ya.

Next Fry Day

Previously: The Colonel of Two Worlds

The time has come to tag along on another adventure with an American Icon.  But this time, not just one Colonel will do (although I guess, technically, there were two Colonels last time).  It's time for the Colonel Corps!

The next issue of the KFC/DC combo meal takes it to the next level with a tour of the DC Multiverse and a collection of Colonels that rival any previous Crisis on Various Earths.  Our story begins with the Colonel of Earth-3, Colonel Sunder, finger licking his wounds after his last confrontation with Colonel Sanders and the Flash (both from Earth-1) when he receives a mysterious visitor:

Meanwhile on Earth-1, our Colonel is also recovering from the previous confrontation.  Apparently many of his employees fell under the sweetly seductive spell of Sunder and are now not working up to the Colonel's standards.

You see, Colonel Sanders is all about doing things the hard way whereas Sunder is all about the shortcut.  So maybe the employees aren't cooking the chicken all the way through?  Salmonella is not your friend on any Earth (except maybe Bizarro World).

It's worth noting that the last issue was a team-up between the Colonel and the Flash (with a little assist from Green Lantern) but this adventure is definitely Colonel-centric.  So if you were yearning for more Colonel Sanders in your life, then this adventure is definitely for you.

While getting his house in order, Earth-1 Colonel is overcome by a mental attack from an unknown source.  He wakes up to the sight of the Colonel and the Flash from Earth-11:

After a little exposition we learn that all the Colonels have had their memories wiped.  They each only retain 1 of the 11 secret herbs and spices that make up the KFC recipe.  The solution was then obvious: hop on the Cosmic Treadmill and go from Earth to Earth collecting Colonels and therefore the herb and spice knowledge necessary to recreate the Secret Recipe!

The Earths/Colonels they found include (but are not limited to):

Hardcase Harlan from Earth-19 (the so-called "SteamPunk" Earth)

Koln-El from Earth-22 (the Kingdom Come Earth)

Kolonel from Earth 51 (the "Kamandi" Earth)...which seems to have some upsetting connotations since he is clearly a chicken that fries and serves other chickens for his patrons.  But that's a story for another time.

Several other Colonels from several other Earths (including one from the 31st Century who cooked for the Legion of Super Heroes and the Bizarro Colonel) hopped on board for the cause.  They eventually track down Colonel Sunder and his mysterious ally who turns out to be...Colonel Grodd!!

So now Sunder and Grodd must face the combined might of the Colonel Corps: an elite team of southern fried superheroes representing the 11 herbs and spices of justice!  (Also, don't forget, the Flash of Earth-11 is there too):

It doesn't take long for our heroes to take out the bad guys.  They even repel a psychic assault from Grodd who tempts them to take the easy way out...but the easy way doesn't get that chicken fried, does it?

So once again, evil is defeated and lunch is served.  We have to assume that all the Colonels were returned to their rightful Earths and Sunder and Grodd were incarcerated, never again to take away delicious meals from society.  The End...or is it?!?!?

Flash Fried

Freebie promotional comics have been common for years.  We all breathed a little easier when Captain America fought the Asthma Monster and it was an exciting roller coaster ride when the X-Men visited the State Fair of Texas.  Sure these books are a little cheesy and they are clearly part of the marketing monster we all live with but, intentionally or not, they can be fun.

Fast food restaurants have been taking part in the fun for years with Captain D's setting sail on the four colored seas a few decades ago, among others.  Not to be outdone by a Captain, Colonel Sanders recently decided it was time to jump from the chicken bucket to the comic pages, and thus, we get "The Colonel of Two Worlds" from DC:

I love that instead of the often overused Big Guns of the DCU (Superman & Batman) they used the Flash as the main hero.  It probably helps that he has a hit show on the air currently but, hey, it's his time to shine.

The story begins with the Mirror Master bringing Captain Cold up to date on his latest plan.  Tying in with the New 52 story Forever Evil, MM plans to bring over another ne'er-do-well from the evil Earth-3 to help them with their nefarious plans to rob banks and whatnot.  But instead of a member of the Crime Syndicate, or anyone that might make sense, he chooses the Colonel Sanders of Earth-3: Colonel Sunder!

It soon becomes clear to the two Rogues that this might not have been the best All Star Team-Up since Sunder's plan seems to involve doing practically nothing while the two of them are forced to take thankless jobs in his crappy restaurant:

Sunder steps up his game after awhile when he starts glory hounding for attention by bragging about how bad his chicken is and how little effort he puts into it.  It can be assumed that this is a common advertising method on Earth-3.  Possibly the Bizarro World as well.

Well that's about all a certain Southern Earth-1 gentleman can stand and so Colonel Sanders decides to enter the fray:

Hey, remember how the Flash was supposed to be in this?  Well, he finally makes his appearance at this point, complete with an all-new, unnecessarily redesigned costume that includes unnecessary extra elements.  The Flash costume has historically been revered for being sleek and streamlined but those days are over:

Green Lantern is also involved but he really doesn't do anything of any consequence.  He just seems to be hanging out, which I guess super heroes do from time to time.  In fact, the Flash really doesn't do much either.  The real hero of the story is Colonel Sanders and he proves he is a man of action as the two Justice Leaguers try to catch up.  It doesn't take long for Sanders to run afoul of Sunder and we get the Colonel vs. Colonel showdown we've been craving:

Not only does Colonel Sanders' military training immediately kick in but he seems to have an overflowing bucket of special skills and possible super powers: from hurling a table into Sunders' "Nugget Gun" defense system, to being able to withstand the dreaded "Pink Slime Ray."  He's able to shrug it off with what appears to be another white suit that he has on underneath his signature threads:

 As you can guess, good eventually triumphs over evil while the Flash is protecting bystanders from the deep fried fracas.  Captain Cold and the Mirror Master don't do a whole lot either.  At this point these seem to realize the error inherent in teaming up with an Earth-3 tyrant who only seems to be interested in bragging about how bad his food is.  So once things cool down they all head to their local KFC franchise to break biscuits:

And if that isn't a happy enough ending for you the Colonel shows why is he known far and wide as a compassionate warrior and offers the two Rogues the best fate ex-cons can have: full time employment at Kentucky Fried Chicken!

 I know we are all hoping that this story remains in continuity.  The potential is nearly endless.  I see a story line where Colonel Sanders is offered Justice League membership but he turns it down because he thinks they're all a bunch of jive turkeys.  Or maybe a spin-off title featuring Captain Cold and Mirror Master working their way up the chain to finally owning their own KFC franchise?  Once that happens...imagine the shenanigans!  Imagine them!!!