Start Trek: The Undiscovered Condiment

I hate to cover old ground. Case in point: google "Star Trek: The Experience - Las Vegas" and you'll find any number of blogs, reviews and fan-blubbery about how cool it is, how cool the rides are and how cool the bar/promenade is. And for once the e-gushing is not unfounded. Every time I hit the strip it's easily destination "Number One."




So of course my recent business trip to Vegas had to include a stopover at the final frontier...if for no other reason than to patronize the greatest bar of all time...fictional or otherwise. Highlights of the menu at Quarks Bar include the "Riker-Rita," the "Hamborger" and the "Grilled Chicken of Khan." I was saving myself for a full-on Vegas buffet later that day so I made due with "Hoshi Sato's Coconut Shrimp":




Look to the left of my shrimp and you'll see one of the place's biggest draws, or what's left of it. Yes, here the Romulan Ale flows like wine. It's one of the many advantages of being so far away from Starfleet Headquarters. Probably the most infamous of all Trek contraband, the blue stuff is available on tap or by the case:




Of course everyone is familiar with Romulan Ale and as I said I'd prefer to cover new ground. So in an effort to document some of the galaxy's more obscure nosh I thought I would raid the Trek Pantry. I think this calls for another drink:



A part of the "Deep Space Wine" collection, "Klingon Blood Wine" probably tastes better than it sounds. In past visits I recall seeing a "Trill Wine" but couldn't find it this time. Is it possible that the Star Trek fan base was unable to support multiple sci-fi themed wines? Or is it just that in the Star Trek High School, the Klingons are forever seated at the "cool kids table" while the lesser known Trills just can't maintain a level of popularity that justifies producing bottle after bottle of novelty hootch?

Maybe so. Blue beer and blood wine may keep the attention of today's younger, sassier Trekkie, but what this party needs is a main course flavored by old school Trek iconography:



Oh yes, Sulu's Original Spicy Asian Wing Sauce will fill the gaping void in all of our lives. On a personal note this one kind of stings. Knowing that I only traveled with a carry-on bag and that the sauce bottle would push me over the .0000005 ounce liquid regulation at the airport, this one remained just out of grasp. My usual policy is to avoid cavity searches at all cost so Sulu Sauce must wait.

Now here's one that I missed the last few visits. Hiding in plain sight is a genuine 24th century replicator:



This is located on a wall right next to a few of the promenade shops. I must have walked right past it several times thinking it was just part of the decor. I should have known better.

Just push the button of your selection and it magically appears in front of you. You can see some alien dish materializing in the picture. I like this because its purpose goes no further than 5 to 8 seconds of fun. It makes no money. I takes no money. It's just ten extra pounds of "kewl" stuffed into an already full five pound sack.

It looks like I was able to stumble onto something else on this trip:



Right outside the entrance to the "Experience" is the all new Star Trek slot machine. I'm not a big slot player. Today's machines are way too complicated than the spinning cherries and grapes of our youth. I played $2.00 worth and even though I didn't really follow what was happening, the spinning, the graphics and the sound effects were well worth the cash.

I believe this is new because right after I played, a guy asked me some survey questions about it and payed me $10.00. In my book I consider it to be an $8.00 win. And that's more than I've won on any slot machine before.

So now the score is:

Me: 1
Vegas: 1,278,987,147

Scooby Doo Turkey Franks

I don't know why this one struck me as being so odd. It's certainly not the first Scooby inspired product. Plus, kids love hot dogs and kids love Scooby Doo. Seems like a natural fit. And yet there is just something so very unnatural about Jennie-O's Scooby Doo Turkey Franks.


The ad says "New" but a Hormel press release says they've been around since July (which is National Hot Dog Month, by the way) of last year. Now don't get me wrong, I like turkey and I've got no problem with turkey hot dogs. In fact, considering all the lame jokes about what goes into hot dogs these days, it's probably the least objectionable hot dog ingredient I've heard of in recent history.

Maybe I'm just too familiar with the Scooby Doo dog treats that I give my dogs. Perhaps in my mind the character has become a spokesdog for strictly canine fare. Narrow thinking on my part. I'm not the biggest fan of the "Doo" but if he can open the door for character driven meat products then there is still hope for "Justice League Cocktail Franks."

Now all this talk of hot-doggery has got me nostalgic. One of the first documentaries I made was about "Product Mobiles" like the Hershey's Kissmobile, SpamMobile, etc. Of course the star of the show was the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. In celebration of my learning that there is such a thing as "National Hot Dog Month", here's a clip from the film:



Time to pass the hat: If you want your very own copy of "Fast Food" then clicky:
http://www.createspace.com/239928

Latest Shoot: History Lesson

Four out of five shamans agree: When you are on a specific quest, crossing paths with a mythological creature is a good omen. Lucky me, when I got lost on the way to the latest shoot for the Comic Book Literacy Documentary I came across an honest to goodness jackelope who was pointing the way to my destination.




And that destination was the home of comic book historian Weldon Adams. Weldon was doing his good deed for the day by donating two palettes containing 36 long boxes chock full of comic books to "Heroes4Heroes." As you may remember Heroes4Heroes is a great group that collects and donates comics books (and other forms of entertainment) to U.S. troops that are stationed overseas.

Here's their website: http://www.heroes4heroes.org/


From left to right: Scott Hinze (H4H & Fanboy Radio), Weldon Adams, Chris McCroskey (Heroes4Heroes) and Chris from Madness Comics & Games in Denton, TX. The bed of that truck that they are sitting on is PACKED with comics.


In addition to making huge comic book donations, Weldon spends a fair amount of his time researching comic book contributions to society and culture. One of his pet projects involves "Texas History Movies." They were a series of educational comic strips published in the 1920's that proved so popular that they were distributed to classrooms across the Lone Star state.

A bizarre series of publishing and re-publishing events helped to flesh out an odd back story to the humble strips which provides some great background information for the documentary as a whole.

Weldon's research has been documented in THIS ARTICLE.

CBL at the APOTAC Swap Meet

This Saturday "Comic Book Literacy director Todd Kent will be appearing at the "A Piece of the Action Collectibles' Comic, Toy & Collectibles Swap Meet 3" as a guest on "The Amazing Comicast" podcast!


While on "The Amazing Comicast" we are going to try to get the word out about our search for teachers and librarians who use comics to educate. We need success stories for the film. If you know of any educational programs that use comics please contact us.

We will post a link to the podcast episode when it is available for download. For more info on "The Amazing Comicast:


See you at the Swap!

Marvel Heroes Valentine Cards

I could never really get too excited about Valentine's Day. I never had anything against it but it was easily a lower tiered holiday when I was a kid. It's kind of like a funny beer commercial. I enjoy it when it's happening but never give it much thought before or after.

Schools and business stay open...and there's no real Valentine traditions to speak of...except one: the classroom Valentine card exchange. I'm talking about the shoe box, the construction paper...the whole nine yards. It helped to turn a highly commercialized day of false sentiment into something slightly more interesting (but not much) for my second grade fanboy-self. How so? Picking the cards of course.

You've seen the boxes of kiddie cards lining that one aisle in the grocery store that changes every month. Super bowl snacks segue into Valentine's decor which in turn segues into yellow marshmallow Peeps on that very aisle. This month you've probably noticed the Hannah Montana cards next to the High School Musical cards as you wondered what exactly it was that made the children of today so lame.

Well fear not because the thing that made my younger self slightly less bored with the holiday is exactly what makes my older self slightly less bored with it. Yes, the old axiom is true: "Super Heroes make everything better."




Marvel Heroes Valentines (Plus Stickers!). True, I was hoping for something DC related but it still beats cards featuring the unholy spawn of Billy Ray Cyrus. The first thing I noticed when I opened these bad boys was how flimsy they were. Something akin to, "Hey, these are just paper." When you are eight years old paper has the durability and improvisational traits of a swiss army knife. It is your construction material of choice and exclusive medium for everything from fine art to weaponry. So it's no wonder I remember the Valentine's Day cards a little more sturdy then they actually were.




The key to the holiday was picking the cards. Now choosing Valentine's cards never had the gravitas of choosing a Halloween costume but the process was similar and it all boils down to allegiances. I usually went with the super hero set. Since that was good enough for past me it'll have to do for the present me as well. So here's a look at will be landing in the heart adorned shoe boxes of today's youth.

Always good to see the traditional Cap. At first I thought that white line was ripping right through the Hulk's pants, crotch and all. But after closer inspection it looks like yet another inanimate object to get the old "smash" treatment.




Iron Man loves the ladies so it's no surprise to find him here in the middle of a heroine sandwich (Attention fledgeling musicians: Want a super cool name for your new band? Why not, "Heroine Sandwich?"). It just goes to show that there's nothing chicks dig more than an upcoming summer blockbuster.

I also feel the need to point out that I love puns. I especially love bad puns. But I question the effectiveness of the Elektra message to the average American 6 to 8 year old. Maybe they'll get it. I'd like to hope so.




Surprise, surprise. Look who gets the big card. We're ending with the BMOCs. You probably know these guys. These are the cards held in reserve. They are earmarked for the people that most need to be impressed. If you you didn't get along with the teacher you sure as hell weren't going to give her a Storm or Thing card. Nope, she got one of the big guns. Greased palms led to straight A's. That's what Wolvie would do.

So there's your visit from the ghost of Valentine's Past (or Present, rather). Hopefully you were scared straight and are now on your way to buy the biggest goose in all of London. Or at the very least those heart shaped Little Debbies. The classics never go out of style.

The New Batman Fruit Snacks

It's true that I have an obsession with Super Hero Food that borders on "unhealthy" (mainly because the food itself is usually junk food). But I feel I've made steps toward recovery with the donation of the bulk of my collection to the Toy & Action Figure Museum in Pauls Valley, OK.

More on that scene later. Today belongs to the new Batman Fruit Snacks. In a hopeless bid for normality I've stopped collecting them (for the most part) and started eating them. In a world of Superman Cheese and Spider-Man Salt Substitute (ok I made that one up), Batman Fruit Snacks may seem pedestrian at best. And to a certain extent they're not the most exciting licensed product on the shelves.

But I choose to believe in a world that sees Batman Fruit Snacks as the elder statesman of the Super Hero Food World. Throughout various cartoons and movies new Batman Fruit Snacks just keep appearing at your local grocer. They are the trusted old friend that says, "Go ahead and put a box of fruit snacks in your shopping cart. You won't look as stupid as you feel."

And since none of the other food at the store said anything to talk me out of it, I made it home with the new box. It looks like they didn't fix anything that wasn't broke. So here's how YOUR 2008 Batman Fruit Snacks break down:

There's easily a Dark Knight/New Movie-esque vibe to these guys...because...hey, look...the Joker. Another thing that stands out is that you get not one, but two bat symbol shapes: "traditional" and "movie-ish." And speaking of the movie symbol shape, this is as good a time as any to point out that for some reason white fruit snacks have always freaked me out. Don't know why. All I can say is, man, fruit snacks should NOT be white.

Batman head, Batman body and nondescript Batmobile shape rounds out the rest of the group. A little unimaginative this time. If they must go with movie images then why not two different Rachel Dawes heads? "Crazy" and "Crazy's replacement." Why not a Batpod or Tumbler shaped shape? Is it possible that Betty Crocker didn't put as much thought into this as I have?

Oh well, I say bring on this summer's Iron Man food!

Peanuts Envy

Life is all about regret.  For example, I regret that I am still waiting for some graphics to be made so that we can finish "Oklahoma Rocks!"  But that's not the only thing that's been keeping me tossing and turning lately.

Some might remember that in a past blog I lamented the fact that while shooting in the area (for "Oklahoma Rocks!...coming soon!  I swear!), we were unable to stop in Durant, OK to get footage of their "World's Largest Peanut."

Now for most people that would have been that.  But the free time that comes with waiting for graphics (Finish my @!$%&ing graphics already!!  You know who you are!) is a harsh bedfellow on a boring Saturday morning.  So I decided my peanut itch must be scratched.

Before we go any further, Durant's dirty little secret needs to be addressed.  No, their peanut is actually not the "World's Largest."  A larger legume looms over the people of Ashburn, GA.  However I submit that there is a certain small town charm inherent in out-and-out lying about a minor accomplishment and/or tourist attraction.  (Although in Durant's defense they probably didn't know about Ashburn when they made their peanut monument.)

Anyway, enough talk!  Behold:

Sure it's a  big peanut and it would be easy to think that it's the "World's Largest" if you didn't follow the exploits of the "World's Largest This" or "World's Largest That" like I do (or at the very least, an internet connection).  It's certainly not what you would call a "small peanut."  So maybe it's time we cut Durant a break.

Now in my opinion one of the best things a small town can have is a theme.  And while Durant doesn't have a series of peanut street vendors or peanut themed muffler shops, what they do have is this:

The Peanut Shoppe.  Guess what they sell there.  Guess what I bought there.

These guys know how to celebrate the peanut.  Peanut brittle (which I also got), peanut butter, peanut candy...George Washington Carver would approve.

Sure they have the standard candies, sauces and jalapeno relishes (somebody buys it...I've just never met them) but here, the peanut is king.  And pity anyone who points out that it is neither a "pea" nor a "nut."

Have a virtual visit if you like: http://www.thepeanutshoppe.com/

I'd like to say I learned a lot from the experience but I mostly just learned how to shell and eat peanuts while driving 70 mph down the highway with a minimum of collateral damage.  That'll just have to be enough.